much ado about life

Revelation vs. Science

2009-06-26T22:17:00.002+02:00

This is an extract of a mail I wrote to an old friend, who confronted me with my current life style. It turned out that my life style was not the subject of my reply, rather the (constructed) faith-science divide.

I post this for the sake of feedback: am I wrong? Am I missing something?

Here goes:

"I think it is self-contradictory to write the line "believe the Bible is the litteral Word of God ... it can be easily proven... beyond any shadow of doubt." Belief is not proven as they address two different spheres of existence. I have no doubt that God can interfere with the physical and natural laws of nature but to despise scientists because they do not operate on the basis of belief in God is ludicrous! Observation > hypothesis > experimentation > thesis is the only way to do science! How can you do maths if you do not assume (on the basis of observation) that 2+2=4 because of some archaic notion that God will always provide 5000 loaves and fish from 12 of each. At some point, charismatic Christians are going to have to accept that description is not contrary to revelation because it never claims to be (except some fanatics in the other ditch). I really don't see why God would create a world only to contradict it, in other words: if nature is God's handiwork, of course we can describe it to discover the recurring patterns and underlying dynamics. Consequently, I doubt that Genesis' intention was a detailed description of creation, but rather a poetic rendition of God's insanely awesome power of structure and imagination!

I've found that there is no contradiction between faith and science. Science's only goal is to describe and hypothesise about the physical - to describe. Faith's role is not to explain that which is left unexplained, but rather to describe that which cannot be described, explain the inexplicable, fantasize about the unfathomable, poetically describe the indescribable God and His works. There is a grander, greater reality behind warring science and knowledge. Don't shun opportunities to realize God's Kingdom in all of your social relations as they are always a choice between Love and Hate, closeness and distance!

..whoa, this really is a big "can of worms" ;) I won't pretend to have answers but I'm in a process and in this process I find it almost crazy to shun knowledge and explanations because of the fear of doubt. Albeit banal, I liken it to growing up being seasoned into the belief that Earth is flat and not accepting knowledge or explanation in fear of it being wrong. Banal, yes, but still fear of explanations seems.. -yes, dumbing!"

Journey to Love

2009-05-03T02:52:00.000+02:00

I seldom realise that I have been on a journey until I look back and realise that I moved. It is good to be on a journey. We are not meant to stand still. We are meant to move - ourselves and others. But if you have never moved, you cannot move others. How good it is, then, that we all move.

But for some reason moving frightens us. I guess we attach ourselves to our familiar surroundings, routines and most of all fears. I do not think that we fully realise how much of what we do and do not do is determined through our fear. Then we abandon natural friendship with our dream and trusting naïvety for a constant, never alarming cohesion with fear, thus keeping our enemy too close.

The inconveniently (for us who have befriended fear) convenient (for those of us seeking freedom) reality of fear is that it is a very fragile thing. Actually, its not even "a thing". Well, actually fear is nothing. We just don't know it. If this were an American movie the old man guiding the main character would say, that "fear's only in your head."

The only thing keeping fear alive is us. It is, so to speak, a man-made construction. To make it worse, its a construction based on linear time. (I'm not really sure what I'm getting myself into here, but I've thought about it for a long time - might still be wrong, but if no one tells me, I'll probably never know.) If we didn't ascribe value to our past "hurts", we wouldn't fear their being repeated in the future. Which would leave us engaged only in our present.

If we were only engaged in our present, there would be nothing holding us back from: Love. Unity.

And finally I arrive at the thought which sparked this long mental exercise: Love is not an effort or will to unify. Love is to not dis-unite in the first place.

Challenge

2009-02-02T19:25:00.002+01:00

I haven't been challenged on my person, my character, for a long time. Tonight, though, is one of those challenges. And it isn't fun, growing. I stand between the choice of dwelling in the pain, turning my frustration onto that which is outside my control or dealing with my reaction, my frustration, inside myself.

In these situations I find it helpful to map out which areas within a relationship is my responsibility and which is not. The area within my sphere of control, my responsibility area, must be dealt with by myself, must be addressed by me. If I don't assume control of this area, it assumes control of me by turning into an area of bitterness, darkness. And so, when coming across this area, I will always feel pain (and eventually numbness) if I don't assume control of it.

The areas outside of my control are interesting as well, as they are the actions of others. This is essentially the same as the circumstances which I find myself in. I can't control these - only react to them! It is this reaction which is within my control and this I must control.

But its hard as it isn't solely a mental exercise ("don't think about pink elephants!") but a searching of the soul, not allowing the soul to dwell on the pain or in the darkness but continually bending my entire being, my entire perception of 'reality', towards Good - maintaining an intent focus on Beauty, Truth and Life. Letting myself be infuriated with my weakness and then letting go of Past and Future and letting myself exist now: I am the Ivan of the Present. Past is what I allow it to be, Future is never Present: I am Now. I am never Ivan the (past/future) Failure for I cannot cease to exist outside of this naked and time-independent Present.

Perspectives on Aid

2008-12-09T11:59:00.003+01:00

When 16, my parents took our family to Indonesia to do aid-work. It was then I was first faced with the complexity of trying to help: what signals does it send? Does it imply to the receivers of aid that you (and the rest of the world) view them as powerless? -and that you (and the rest of the world) have all power to change them? How do you avoid the total dependency of the community, on however large a scale, on aid? What is the west's motivation? -is it guilt money? The problems continue to form a very, very long list.

Its been long since this has been on my mind, but through podcasting "Speaking of Faith" I listened to an interview with an African journalist, Binyavanga Wainaina, who is a recognized voice on this issue. In satirical style, he wrote an article as a tip-sheet for wester journalists on how to write about Africa. Here's an excerpt:

"Broad brushstrokes throughout are good. Avoid having the African characters laugh, or struggle to educate their kids, or just make do in mundane circumstances. Have them illuminate something about Europe or America in Africa.
Describe, in detail... dead bodies. Or, better, naked dead bodies. And especially rotting naked dead bodies. Remember, any work you submit in which people look filthy and miserable will be referred to as the ‘real Africa’, and you want that on your dust jacket. Do not feel queasy about this: you are trying to help them to get aid from the West.
Animals, on the other hand, must be treated as well rounded, complex characters. They speak (or grunt while tossing their manes proudly) and have names, ambitions and desires. They also have family values: see how lions teach their children? Elephants are caring, and are good feminists or dignified patriarchs. So are gorillas. Never, ever say anything negative about an elephant or a gorilla."

Read the full article here.

Listen to the one hour-long, in-depth interview from here.

Check this out

2008-11-06T23:40:00.003+01:00

A friend of mine from theology (study) just started blogging - so if you're any good at Danish (and you need something to reflect upon) check it out at www.neutral0000.blogspot.com (trancendental name, yah?).

en france

2008-07-16T16:50:00.002+02:00

I'm in France. Getting used to an English keyboard (only slightly different than a Danish but my own insufficiency never fails to frustrate me). More exactly I'm in Villefranche-sur-Mer just east of Nice (southwestern coast of France - the Riviera). Its absolutely stunning here. The old part of the city is breath taking, and seeing 'for sale' signs outside the most charming apartments is driving me mad. I want to move here, but my choice of studying theology (low pay) has pretty much killed those dreams. Actually it hasn't killed the dreams as much as the prospects.

The other night we went drinking. Got unusually drunk by the harbor with the owner, staff and friends of a bar we stumbled into that evening. I've never had a hang over like that one / spent one full day sleeping, drinking water and eating salts and sugars to try and re-hydrate. -unsuccessfully so, cos I had a headache until next (this) morning.

I'm here with my family except my older sister and her hubbie (she likes to call him that). My mom is absolutely taken with the riviera stretch. My dad, usually the great saver, is being unusually large about gas, living and holidaying expenses. I've gone on my usual spending spree (bought an expensive jacket in Monaco) and my younger sister (steph) is craving for shopping. My parents and her went to Nice yesterday, so she must've gotten it settled.

This place is beautiful. Full of good people (this is the foreigners' hangout) and I wanna get a job here. I should probably wait with such plans until I've got my bachelor (2 years) but I wanna do it now! -dang! Maybe I should come here for a summer. Dunno.. I had a good talk with the new owner (Chris - English fella) and I reckon I could land a job here. But no, better not think about it.

I should go now. Left my brother at a table. Plenty of pix coming up on my myspace profile in a week's time or so.

review of blog-entries (procrastination)

2007-12-12T14:23:00.000+01:00

Blogging's great for someone in their teens through to their twenties. -not that it isn't for older and younger too, but it definitely is for someone my age. I just re-read a heap of my old entries from '04 when I was in high school and its a great catalyst to get the memories going.

I was at an entirely different place then in all aspects of life: faith, relations, family. (no, not economically.. sigh) So kids out there: get a blog and start writing!

I've got exams coming up - hard ones too: oral greek, oral philosophy and an assignment in new testament. So naturally, I can't pull myself away from my computer here at home. Oh, to those who haven't found out, I've started putting my songs up on myspace! Please do comment 'cos its really hard to be objective about one's own songs. Link is:
www.myspace.com/ivansaaby

Okay okay, I'll go study now. Maybe breakfast first but then study! Tonight I'm hanging out with some of the guys from college who're great. One of them got married Saturday so we're going to his new place to hang out and watch Champions' League.

..this is just ramble, yes. I haven't written here for so long that I've lost the mojo. I'll start again now, tho.

religious pluralism

2007-10-01T01:40:00.000+02:00

I don't know what to make of religious pluralism. Really, I debate this often with myself and deliberatly shy away when the subject is raised by self-proclaimed non-religious people, who ask if I don't think 'we all are looking at different doors to the same room.'

But tonight I watched a show by an outstandingly sharp and witty, Danish journalist, Clemen Kjærsgaard, with Desmond Tutu, nobel peace-prize winner and archbishop (I think?) of South Africa. Initially I was alarmed when he employed the elephant-metaphor (blind men touching an elephant, one saying that an elephant is comparable to a snake because he is holding the tail, the other saying that the elephant is rather like a tree because he is touching a leg) and my inner alarmbells were screaming 'pluralism'.

I don't know if it is me or the emphasis of my childhood church, but I've grown up thinking in terms of right and wrong decisions, thoughts and yes, faiths, that Moslems don't have the right faith, Jews have some of the right faith but aren't redeemed because they are missing the new covenant (Jesus) and Buddhists don't even have a faith but some truth-wise inconsequential philosophy. It's 'us and them' and it's about getting 'them' onto 'our' side.

So here's Desmond Tutu blowing my socks off saying that God is more interested in people willingly going to hell than being forced into heaven! But I think he has a point when he says Truth in plural.

If God is good and good is God (which I do believe), then people are learning about God when they are learning good. Also with love. There is no religion who can contain all the Truth about God and so I should be able to accept the truths in Islam and Buddhism without it being subvertive to my faith about God revealed through Jesus. God is revealed in all things good.

This is pretty controversial to many and the implications of this thinking can be massive. So what's your take on this?

recording sessions

2007-08-29T00:37:00.000+02:00

I recorded my first song tonight. I'm in Copenhagen staying at a childhood friend of mine and some guys from his band, campsite, and one of them's got some recording equipment. It wasn't the best of my songs (due to technical problems) but then I can't complain. When its done (and I'm happy) I'll put it up on myspace - just to have something out. Please, if you can and feel like it, feedback on it. [smile]

We should get around to recording some other ones. I think I'm gonna start doing more about my music - just to try it out and see how far it'll go!

haughty solution - another of life's great problems

2007-07-24T10:48:00.000+02:00

When I started studying theology at the university many warned me that it was going to be a great challenge for my personal faith in God as the Creator and Lord of all, Jesus as the Son of God and the Messiah and the Holy Spirit as God's Spirit, relevant to us in the spiritual and physical world.

But I do not see that it should be a challenge. The entire university has as it's aim to be strictly scientific in it's approach and as such there is a basic difference between the "knowledge of God" ["theology"] and actually knowing God. In my world there should be a constant, underlying rule that seperates fact and faith, as 'faith' per definition is a non-factual sphere of life and science is per se void of faith as it builds on scepticism; faith and scepticisme being opposites.

With this in mind it does not give me sleepless nights when I learn that for example modern science is quite certain that the city of Jericho (that Joshua and the rest of Israel marched around for seven days whereupon the walls collapsed) had not existed even close to the time when the Israelites allegedly were coming out of the desert, that a vast part of the Old Testament was probably written or at least radically edited under the exile in Babylon in the 6th century BC or that evolution seems more probable than creation. Is this supposed to rock my faith in God? No, because my faith in God does not rest upon how factual the Old or New Testament is or any such thing, for this would not be 'faith' but rather pseudo-science.

I believe that the proof of the saving and transforming power of Christ, the still mercy and grace of God and the furious violence of the same is personal. It must be not just be experienced, but known in the core of our being and consciousness; an area where fact, probabilities and scientific method lose relevance, for this is where only we individually and God can go.

broken

2007-07-21T16:37:00.000+02:00

I've spent my early youth trying to mend my brokenness or at least evade it, to abate sinful acts. Now I am spending my late youth coming to terms with it. In preparation for dedication, commitment - yes, love in all aspects of my life - in spite of my brokenness.

Writing those two sentences is hard for me, for it represents my abandoning of youthful optimism in favour of tired realization of my own fall, my own commonness.
"But I've seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march, its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah."

In this lieu, life consists of brokenness and distractions from it.

Speak to me of brokenness and speak to me of the Ressurection. For I see now, that victory will not come from myself; only through an external force making me whole, but I haven't yet come this far in the process.

our responsibility

2007-03-13T12:45:00.000+01:00

Contrary to logic about any absolute, I find that people calculate the possiblitiy of faith being possible and valid as a lifestyle on the evidence of people around them who impersonate faith. Problem is that they seem to think that faith should be impersonated by anyone who professes to believe. And so personal failures by the professing believers have not only consequence to themselves but to these calculating spectators who seek confirmation that a lifestyle of faith is not possible or plausible, seeking it to confirm themselves that their own egocentric lifestyles are indeed 'good'.
Confirms Matt 5:13: "You are the salt of the earth but if the salt loses it power.."
I don't like it. Don't like the responsiblity.

on this

2007-01-02T01:56:00.000+01:00

Truth is not subjective. And with truth, ethics and moral. It follows that we must not blame any lack of truth and ethics on our part on our circumstances with the excuse that we are products of our influences. We must not reduce ourselves to fortuitious links in the chain of cause and effect, indulging in the emotional pleasure of self-justification; no matter the greatness of spirit this may require of us.

Rather we must find ourselves on our knees in humble awareness of the fallenness of mankind and with this, the fallenness of our collective and individual world.

I was young and something that was mine had been stolen by force and so I went to my dad, the protector of my cosmos, sobbing with fury and indignation and explained to him the violation to which I had fallen victim. It was and still is unfair when all he said was, "Ivan, you need to be broken." But years later it taught me a lesson, that unfairness is to be expected; that being adamant about my rights is not the Way.

So I must lay down my rights and instil my heart on love for my fellow people and hope for the continual victory of what still is Timeless and True Good.

For I am part of a story, a tale that was before me and that will be long after my passing. I must not look to the short-term but rather look to steer with all I can the world onto the course of this Timeless and True Good. Partly and simply, in honour and reverence of those who've gone before, in remembrance us who are now and in love for those yet to come.

a thought of africa

2007-01-02T01:25:00.000+01:00

Hearing the list of the names of the dead,
hearing without understanding
the number of the score of victims
robbed of their rightful peace
their freedom
must in no way diminish
our love for each and every
of their beautiful souls.

Neither must we let
our own souls be killed.

Must we not spend our freedom
that they may have theirs.

fiction

2006-11-16T23:24:00.000+01:00

Thank you, Mark Stewart and ecthros for your encouraging words in the comments to my previous entry of self-annihilation.. In afterthought, I do guess one learns one's entire life (at least that's what I hear..) and this justifies opinion-making even at my early stage of learning.

Also, I realise that I probably cannot do without writing here as this space gives me opportunity to formulate thoughts that would otherwise just be absurd fragments in my mind when never forced into a (more or less) systematic exposition.

Another effect of formulating thoughts (especially when dealing with frustrations) is that I force myself to rationally face the facts of the reasons for my emotional outbursts. Its in this situation I often realise that I am not entirely justified in feeling as strongly as I do. Even though I try to advocate the idea of importance of validating the reasons that bring about strong feelings even though seemingly trivial as opposed to an overly 'humble' attitude of always thinking oneself is in the wrong and not wanting or daring to trouble others with one's own "probably insignificant" feelings.

Sooo, after having justified my online existence.. I had a small realisation and although its imbecile, really, I'll write it.

I used to read quite alot until the end of high school / college (pre-uni...) where I got so fed up with books. I've started reading some again (fiction, I mean) and I find myself getting so 'into' the story that I relate to and compare myself with the characters in which case I always find myself lacking their quick wit and ability to say all the significant things in everyday phrases. I've been thinking like this alot and found that I've had a tendency to 'choose' my friends accordingly - those who understand that 'layer of subtleties' are the ones I usually get along with (among other things as well, of course).

Until it struck me recently how moronic this way of thinking is that only causes me to regard 99.9% of the people around me negatively. Why isolate myself?! I simply realised that the author of the books (ie. the creator of the characters) had probably spent a long time formulating those lines compared to how long I have to mull over everything I say before I say it. Its like only ever reading poetry and therefore isolating oneself to only relating properly to people who can formulate themselves like Robert Frost in an sms while driving their car!

So now I'm having to re-learn some basic principles when relating to... people.

talk less, learn more!

2006-11-11T02:08:00.000+01:00

Doubting that anyone has been enduring enough to check and re-check my blog, and that therefore no one will read this, I write this anyway: my explanation (bordering on an apology) (first and foremostly to myself, I think).

As my theology courses at the University of Aarhus continue, I realise the futility of many of my words. Its been said that knowledge only proceeds more questions, ie. greater awareness of the doors yet unopened.

What I'm saying is that, in order to save myself embarrasement to myself later, I will try to talk less and learn more. [smile]

a theologian's job_description

2006-09-23T00:23:00.000+02:00

It thrills the heart of a theology student to read this weekend's edition of probably to most intellectual and socially analytical Danish newspaper, Weekendavisen [directly translated: the weekend-newspaper], as three of the major articles are about the renaissance of religion in European society and politics. The basis for two of the three articles is the well-known issue of the large and increasing immigration of Muslims to Europe and the resulting cultural change of such a large minority, while the point of reference of the third article is the much debated speech of the Pope in his former university of Regensburg. The common ground then of the three articles is the clash of cultures, European and Muslim.

The articles all express the growing need for western societies to be aware of their identity, but this is a grave problem as the cultural key-word in the European mind is individualism. No longer do we define ourselves in terms of our context, family, city, country and religion, but rather we define ourselves solely as ourselves. A rather symptomatic example of this is the story of Sheila, who said she believed in the supernatural but wouldn't confine herself to one religion and instead just declared that she believed in 'Sheilanism.' Or when one of the Danish ministers was interviewed a couple of years ago saying, "The trouble with society nowadays is that as soon as you give people another privilege, you cannot take it away again. People instantly claim it as a right." We are no longer commited to the welfare of our group but we have become egocentric and primarily eager to fend for our own individual welfare.

This is largely, if not entirely, due to the secularisation of the average Joe. For years it has been commonly regarded as a personal weakness, a breach of character, to confess oneself believing in anything supernatural. "We were taught that religion was but an embarrassing left-over from the infancy of humanity that would disappear as we grew more modern, free and enlightened. But we had to think again: the public sphere is now so pervaded with religion that [atheistic philosophers] are talking of a "post-secular society."

Yes, times are changing, the pendulum swinging back, and as Weekendavisen puts it,
"secularisation has proved morally bankrupt: ... while the bloddy, confessionally charged Thirty Years War from 1618-1648 made Europeans see the wisdom in seperating the church and the state, so the ungodly 20th century, the epoch of fascism and communism, has made us painfully aware of the danger in completely expelling religion from politics: the result was totalitarian, political substitutions for religion and a fatal elevation to godliness of the undiluted power of a state that is not accountable to anyone but itself."

The point is that people cannot define or understand themselves without absolutes. And tieing up the boat again, that is part of the job-description of a theologian in a "post-secular" age.

See Weekendavisen.dk articles, "Det famlende Europa", "Klokkerne ringer" and "Kristenheden eller Europa". All in Danish, of course.

zeitgeist

2006-09-19T01:00:00.000+02:00

In Danish we have a wonderful word, "ildsjæl." Its actually two words as you can in Danish almost freely combine words to fit your meaning. As said, two words combined: "ild" and "sjæl." The first means 'fire' and the second, 'soul.' So, 'fire-soul.'

This stated to drive the point that I am not one of these. (Oh yes, 'fire-soul' is used descriptively for persons.) I realised tonight that I do not really have a passion - for anything. Well, this is slightly exaggerated; my girlfriend has the ability to create a storm and so does my family, but nothing else really.

I wish I was passionate beyond belief about something. Music, the Trinity, swimming, reading, knowing, seeing or 'just' an avid fan of a football team! But all of these are merely in category with so many other things that I enjoy placidly when the mood catches me. I am not obsessed. I am not compelled by.. what? mood? recognition? proving myself to myself? self-discipline? love? need?

No, what I am compelled by is 'ought'. I feel very deeply that I ought to 'realise myself' and fulfill my potential. I need to do this for myself or I'll look back in 60 years and regret not driving myself to the max. But where does this feeling originate from?

I am not under the impression that anyone living a century ago would have thought these things. None of the old litterature implies one having to stretch one's arms as far as they could go so one could actually know how far one's arms could go. It'd take up too much space and be a waste of effort. In contrast, I've been exhorted all my life to constantly and diligently exercise the joints in my upper body with the explicit purpose to give myself maximum arm span. I probably won't ever span as far as John Mayer, Bruce Cockburn or even Gavin Degraw, but "its okay, I did my best."

Not okay.

Living my life to try to run as hard and far as I can in just any direction won't do. Like the rest of humanity throughout all centuries, I need direction first and foremost. After that, I'll do what I can to go somewhere and get something done.

Running for the sake of running is not a timeless Truth. Its a current fashion that's only been regarded as 'the way to go' for less than 1% of the time man has been civilised. That's not exactly standing the test of time.

So I don't wan't to believe I am at the center of the universe. I'm to bloody insignificant. -and yes, that's a very, very good thing.

To Montreal

2006-09-14T00:55:00.000+02:00

My deepest, deepest condolences to Montreal and the rest of Canada! As I read the articles I cannot but imagine the scene against the backdrop of my university. May you numerous victims and the families of the two deceased find peace again.

I join my voice to the choir of prayer and thoughts that sounds around the world for you.

At Uni

2006-09-09T00:57:00.000+02:00

I have started studying Theology at the University of Aarhus - the second largest University of Denmark. In fact, I am in the auditorium now, having time to jot this down because there's a debate about the two natures of Christ (man or God?) going on which is non-essential.

Fascinating, isn't it?! Half a year ago I would have travelled to the other side of the country and paid an entrance fee to attend such a lecture (its about the church fathers, really, but this debate is drawing out because of an adamant student) but now I'm actually getting paid by the Danish government to study this!

And I mustn't fail to tell you of how beautiful the facilities are here: coffee kitcen placed very central where anyone can keep their mug and jar of instant coffee and make coffee whenever. -so right now, there's a steaming cuppa beside me. There's wi-fi everywhere of course (although they haven't given me my access code yet) and the whole building is from... its new anyway!

I like this.

churches like business?

2006-08-19T20:14:00.000+02:00

I find myself very, very tired these days. Not because of lack of sleep but rather because I'm spiritually exhausted.

I made the 'mistake' of re-initiating contact with the big guy upstairs and I don't think he's letting me back out on him again - however absurd that might sound to many. I can't get away from my faith anyhow, but I also cannot 'give in' to it. Precisely because it would be 'giving in'! I have some notion that to become a christian again (in the original meaning of the word) would be to come crawling back and to humiliate (not just humble) myself in front of all the people I left with a proud heart, head held high because I refused to give in to their theology that hinges on too many cultural fashions.

Is it not possible to be in a vivant relationship with God without succumbing to christian trends, always being the first to learn the newest songs from the biggest christian artists? Without having to be the worshipper who jumps around the most during a worship session (jam-packed with drum- and guitar solos, unbelievably energetic choir voices and catchy intro's)? Is it possible to surround oneself in a christian gathering that is run more like a proficient company rather than a social club?

Okay okay, I'm 'bitching' but why can't one complain if one doesn't agree? As long as the complainers don't starting working against the boss(es), it should be alright to complain.

Yes, more like the business world! Or am I wrong? What am I missing?

the denmark I love

2006-08-01T23:43:00.000+02:00

As I am a smoker who can't smoke indoors, I am 'confined' every evening to 6-7 minutes on the sidewalk in front of the place where I live. However, this provides for me a beautiful moment to stop and think about the day, a break before I sleep, instead of filling my head with trivial activities until I'm in my bed. More often than not I come back in with a new song idea in my head or sometimes a new post for this blog. Tonight, though, I came in with a light heart because of the rain.

Yes, its raining in Denmark in sharp contrast to the heat wave that has swept over most of Europe the last month. For a couple of days, my country has turned back into the country I love with fresh, cool air, a bare minimum of insect activity (particularly flying ones) and quiet streets providing solitude for the ones with crowded minds and hearts.

On another such lonely, chilly night a couple of weeks ago, I put on my winter coat to go buy milk and all of a sudden I missed tucking the coat around me to keep the wind from sneaking in and the way keys, wallet, cigs and my mobile each had a pocket designated according to factors such as accessibility, size and fit of pocket (to prevent rattling and bulging), priority and frequency of use. How wonderful it is to live in a country that provides so many excuses to wear such a coat!

Denmark is a comfortable, user-friendly safe haven, where one can simply relax and enjoy the above-average asphalt under the tires of one's eco-friendly bicycle without necessarily breaking sweat for not wasting resources on gas or public transportation.

hitch hiking until..

2006-07-10T15:47:00.000+02:00

I'm in Rome at the moment. We're moving on to Napoli tonight, so yeah, we're just going around Italy at the moment. Hitch hiking's supposed to be really hard here, but we don't actually know.

The trip started out fine. Filip's older brother dropped us off at the freeway and I didn't even finish writing "South" on the cardboard sign when someone saw Filip's thumb and curly, blonde hair. It was a Danish family going down to shop south of the border (common in Dk) and they just set us off there - far from the freeway though! So we were quite stuck at the biggest Danish shopping place in Germany. Funny thing happened: my (yes, Nili, she's my 'new') girlfriend was headed south with her family AND stopping to shop where we were at. So after basking in the sun (on the sidewalk) for some hours, they took us a couple of hours down into Germany. From there we slept behind the 'Rasthof's (gas-stops along the freeway) for two nights. The last Rasthof we got stuck for almost a full day because we'd apparently made it down a slightly inconvenient freeway just north of Freiburg, when considering we were trying to get to Southern France. In addition Filip got sick with headaches and puking and so on. I was quite sore myself from sleeping on the ground so spirits weren't high. Eventually we just took a ride with a business man (who bore striking resemblance to Al Pacino in Scarface and even smoked cigars branded 'Al Capone' the whole way) to Zurich, Switzerland. We stayed a night, watched the semi-finals of the World Cup and concluded that we'd started down a path of no return, bought EuroRail tickets (not cheap, mind you!) said goodbye to our newfound American friends (there are Americans EVERYwhere!) and took the night-train to Milano, then Florence (looked around here) on to Pisa, Livorno and Campigliari and then a bus to the small coastal town of Piombino from which a ferry took us to the incredibly scenic island of Elba - where my girlfriend was holidaying with her family and some friends! smiiiile

But we went on to Rome and are here now. The Sixteenth Chapel closed right in our faces so we're disappointed and sad. We've spent waaay too much money sleeping in hostels, eating out and buying water which annoys me. Our good experience last night, though, when we were in Circo Massimo (Rome's old race-track) with at least 30.000 other people to watch Italy win the World Cup! THAT was nuts.. nuts..

Anyway, I wanna go home but Filip reeeally wants to go to Napoli to see Vesuvia and Pompeii.. I guess I'll go along to monitor costs and luxurious expenditure. We've decided to sleep at train stations the rest of the time and buy canned food etc etc..

Okay, time's up here. Sorry its messy and stuff, but.. but.. who cares?! smile

vacation's here

2006-07-01T21:24:00.000+02:00

Just a quick note to say the following:

Thank you to you who continue to read my blog despite my only very sporadic postings. I'm going on vacation now - hitch hiking around Europe for 2 weeks!! [smile] I'm going with a very good friend of mine with whom I've hitch hiked twice before. If I find a good internet café, I'll be sure to drop a note in here about where we are etc etc.. -yeah, just another boring travel-update (don't feel obliged!)

This is my 101'st post!

Take care of yourselves and keep thinking about it all..

Marx's opium

2006-06-27T00:51:00.000+02:00

Reminded by Rivendell45 (referring to comment left to my previous post "Catholicism") I re-read some of Vinoth Ramachandra's Gods That Fail: Modern Idolatry and Christian Mission. On my first glance-like read-through of this book, I was slightly put off by the extent of the author's vocabulary and his fluency in "-ism's." However, on my second read I found I comprehended almost all of the points put forth. Without being able to say what caused my expansion of reading comprehension, I must admit that Ramachandra manages to substantially revitalize my faith in the Christian message. If you read my last post "Sermon on our ineffectiveness..." you will have a pretty clear picture of my sentiments against the modern church's lack of relevance in 'the real world.' It seems to me that we border on letting ourselves fall directly into Marx's age-old attack of being "opium for the masses." This, Ramachandra confirms me in thinking, is quite the opposite of the Christian message, richly conveyed in scripture and by the early church fathers en masse. Take for example "the great Cappadocian Father," Basil of Ceasarea's passionate rebuke of the rich Christians,
"That bread which you keep belongs the the hungry;
That coat which you preserve in your wardrobe, to the naked;
those shoes which are rotting in your possession, to the shoe-less;
that gold which you have hidden in the ground, to the needy.
Wherefore, as often as you wer able to help other, and refused,
so often did you do them wrong."

I sat with Vinoth Ramachandra in a small meeting a couple of years ago, as the group of Christians at my school had invited him to one of our evenings. To me he seemed very harsh and uncomfortably uncompromising even down to his choice of words, but in retrospect I understand him and can only commend him for actually choosing the life-style and taking to heart the Christian message in a way that I have long dreamt of. Yes, it does inspire me.

One example of his challenges to us, which struck quite close to home with me, was his rebuke for our spending so much money on clothing when there was perfectly fine clothing in the second-hand stores down the road for a fraction of the price. It shocked me that he'd actually say it, but isn't he right? Shouldn't we also be accountable for our income versus spendings when we could easily fund relief for the millions who have no means of sustenance. Not only should we devote our money to it, we should devote our time. But to devote our time, we suddenly find we must take it a step further and devote our lives, our very beings, to carrying out the heart of God: loving those in need.

In writing this, I find that I am challenged beyond what I can bear at present time. I find myself protesting on the basis of my previous picture of my evangelical function as challenging the reigning culture in the West. Now, just this reaction makes me realise that I would relish an evangelical function in the West because it is a dream largely compatible with the comforts of the same Western lifestyle. Indeed, this shows me a glimpse of how deeply rooted in me is what Ramachandra labels the "essentially escapist gospel... simply a religious image of the secular consumerist culture in which modern men and women live." It is in this paragraph he makes the point, "it lays itself wide open the the full blast of the savage criticism of Marx and Freud."

However, the comfort for my hope of comfort can be found in that one should not choose or rule out one's evangelical function on the basis of comfort. But my problem is in my heart, that I even hope for comfort. I want to want to hope for the relief of the dying.

PS: I'm sure any author would want a disclaimer here, that if you think what I'm writing above sounds off, take it out on me. The above is not intended to be a sober summary of Vinoth Ramachandra's point, but it is my interpretation of his writings.